Archive | June 2012

RockHard, Farm Hand

Position: Heavy Work Horse/ Farmhand Helper


  • Building and maintaining any structures being added to the farm.
  • Making sure that the fields are properly watered and weeded, chopping wood.
  • Keeping the main yard clean and organized for guests
  • Keeping the Imaginary dog from causing too much trouble.
  •  Being all round helpful and eager to please all the pretty girls on the farm
  • Generally available to do any and all heavy lifting or labor required


  • Friendly yet a little shy, this large muscular fellow is eager to please and help in any way he can. A little odd with a touch of crazy he can be found talking to what appears to be nothing but he insists is an imaginary dog named Nibby who seams to argue with him endlessly. Easily smitten by all the pretty girls around the farm his shyness occasionally becomes a liability as their beauty renders him tongue tied and nervous. This passes as he becomes used to each new face and the true fun loving goofiness of this hard worker peeks out. Loving to play and laugh he can often be found in the pond swimming. He is a sweet kind man who is well worth taking the time to get to know as he will go threw almost any lengths to please.


  • wanders around with an imaginary dog who argues with him


History and Information

RockHard wandered by the farm one day to find it populated by not only pretty girls but exceptionally well endowed pretty girls. Being incredibly shy around such beautiful women he found himself welcomed despite his shyness and sought to reward their kindness to him by helping out in any way he could. Often followed around by his temperamental imaginary dog he can be found wandering the farm, tinkering and helping, as well as blushing brightly while he steals peeks at the gorgeous women around and their substantial ‘assets’.



RockHard is a 6’3” Caucasian of French and Norwegian decent. He has short brown hair, green eyes and exceptionally wide shoulders. He has large hands and thick arms from much heavy labor. He is often seen in a pair of plain blue jeans and steel toe boots, a black t-shirt and an old brown cowboy hat that long ago lost its proper shape. The only jewelry he wares is a silver chained necklace with the head of Marvin the Martian on it from the loony toons which he keeps under his shirt.



Melon Farm News Update

There has been lots happening on the farm in recent weeks. Growing fast and becoming increasingly popular there are almost always a group of guests wandering around the farm marveling at its wonder and enjoying the incredible views it has to offer.

Continue reading

Setting some rules

Hey all,

You’ve probably been wondering where the updates have been? Well, they are sitting in an inbox, in my head, or your head. Either way, they aren’t here because I have been very frustrated by the drama about the blog that has happened in the last couple of months.

Continue reading

Want to help?

I could use a bit of graphics help to spruce up the blog for the melon farm. If you have some skills and want to help make the place look a bit better, send me an email at

Alternatively if you have some clean farm girls or guys, those are also welcomed. 🙂


– Tempy

Pinky, the Owner

Position: Owner (though often in mid air from jumping on people)


  • Ensures everyone is having a good time
  • Delegates everything else to the rest of the staff
  • Avoids most responsibilities


  • Flying Glomp Attack
  • Is a member of the Juggs
  • Can often be found naked in the farm’s pool
  • Plays primarily with women


Pinky is a ravishing woman, with more than ample curves and a perpetually friendly face wreathed in  blonde locks. She serves as a role model for all of the girls on the farm, and her antics ensure that the eyes in the room are regularly on her. Though she does love to share the spotlight and makes sure that everyone on the farm has a great time.

She can be very easy to distract at times though, and being incredibly naive she takes most people at their word. This can lead her to some compromising, if hilarious, situations. Everyone at the farm though is very protective of her to make sure that she’s not taken advantage of in any bad way.


Damion Cross

Position: nutritionist and cook

  • Ensure that all farm studs, farm girls, and guests are given a wide range of meals to sate their appetite.
  • Help guests and all staff find the right foods that help them nutritionally.
  • Tends to use farm fruits in some dishes
  • Makes his own drink to avoid mixing it with those drank by guests
History and Appearance:
Damion is someone that is known to those that frequent the farm, seeing that he has met some of them in passing in some of the other places he frequents.  What he brings to the farm is a little bit of flair and panache when it comes to food and nutrition, having accumulated knowledge from his various wanderings around the world.  Though a bit paranoid about illicit substances in his food, he helps those that cannot voice their opinion when making his favorite fresh fruit salad.  He’s tall, with an average build, blonde hair, and blue eyes.  But do not let his Nordic looks fool you: he’s as gentle as a teddy bear, but can be as ferocious as a grizzly when provoked.  Just as those that have tasted the wrath of his gumbo spoon.